poor charlie

it's the most sexiest time of the year

a mother of two in new mexico has lost some of her lust for life after an injury in a car crash left her with an insatiable sex drive. "It's unbearable," says Joleen Baughman, 39. in the collision a nerve in her pelvis which controls desire was damaged -- and got locked in the "on" position. because of the condition, the slightest movement turns her on -- even when she vacuums. i guess at least her housework is more enjoyable.

on a separate note, i love this photo. and the fact that the first baptist church needed an extra-large van to transport everyone to an outing at the adult bookstore.

olsens 2, fashion 0

someone explain to me why the olsen twins are considered such fashion icons. here they are at the premiere of "nine" last night in nyc. ashley/mary kate is dressed as some harlequin court jester and mary kate/ashley is dressed like some giant deranged bird from hell. neither of them own a comb. and between them they have 4 black eyes. scary stuff.

the greg brady comedy hour

so meet greg brady's 30 year old girlfriend (elizabeth somethingorother. let's just call her "ho" for short). yes, she's 30 and he's, what, 70? he doesn't look a day under 60. anyway. he has a restraining order against her because she went c*r*a*z*y. she allegedly stole $29,000 out of his checking account. and then threatened him with a kitchen knife because she thought he was doin' the nasty with one of his co-stars.

now the comedy comes from two things. (not counting my comment that i hope she spent the $29,000 on a nose job. that's just a fact, not really funny). joke #1 - that greg actually has $29,000 in his checking account. and joke #2 - that greg actually has CO-STARS! what, are they doing some brady bunch celebrity wrestling match somewhere? or perhaps he's playing the peepaw in "ninja kickboxer 13".

vera!

one of my favorite performances this year has been vera farmiga in "up in the air". she's the thinking man's ultra-sexy woman. love her. was especially excited to see her get a golden globe nomination this morning. i was quite pleased with their choices (mostly - where is Jeremy Renner for best actor in "the hurt locker"?!?! that's unforgiveable, really).

some folks whose nomiations that made my heart go pitter patter: anna kendrick & george clooney (completing the "up in the air" triumvirate), meryl streep (always! she get got two nods), matt damon (again, times two), carey mulligan ("an education"), colin firth & julianne moore ("a single man"), joseph gordon-levitt ("500 days of summer" - finally people are recognizing just how good he is), michael stuhlbarg ("a serious man"), mo'nique ("precious"), woody harrelson ("the messenger"), and on the tv side: kyra sedgwick (always and every year for "the closer"), thomas jane ("hung") and YES, Jane Lynch! (for her performance-that-should-be-winning-every-award in "glee").

some nominated films and performances i can't be as excited about 'cuz i haven't seen them but i am anxious to drag antonio to about 20 films between christmas and new years. look for us in the dark, in a zombie state, covered in popcorn.

whole lotta HURTin' goin' on

so the awards season battle seems to be coming down to "up in the air" vs. "the hurt locker". today the new york film critics association gave their best picture award to "the hurt locker" (agreeing with the los angeles film critics - shock!) they did name george clooney best actor for "up in the air" and meryl streep best actress for "julie and julia" (her fourth award from the group). the golden globe nominations are announced tomorrow!

bike rack cozy

this is on a major street in downtown philadelphia. someone has knitted a cozy for a public bike rack. it's cute. it's colorful. but the big question is Why?

HURT's so good

both the los angeles film critics and the boston society of film critics have chosen "the hurt locker" as best film of the year. the boston critics also chose hurt's jeremy renner as best actor. it, too, is one of my favs of the year (yes, my list is coming soon, be patient!) and i sincerely hope jeremy renner gets an oscar nod. great film. amazing performance.

spelling bee

so how easy is "prejudiced" to spell?

ohmylord - houston!

meet annise parker. i know, sounds like a stripper name. actually, a better stripper name would be "star annise". 'cuz she'd be all spicy. and licorace-y. but i digress. annise is openly gay and was just elected mayor of houston. HOUSTON. that's in TEXAS! it's quite astounding. houston, the fourth largest city in the nation, became the largest city ever to elect an openly gay person as mayor. that sound you hear is the sound of every single Bush family member packing to move.

last two performances / best two performances

you've only two chances left to see my latest play: "the :nv:s:ble play". sponsored by invisible tape, pictured here (thanks, howie!) those who know me know i get separation anxiety at the end of every show. one of my old theatre professors told me theatre is a wonderful/horrible profession. you say more "hellos" (meet more people) than in any job - and via the directorial process i get to know them really well and grow quite fond of them. yet you say more "goodbyes" in theatre than any other profession. when a show ends, i know that some of these folks i'll work with again. yet some i may never even see again.

and that makes me sad. even though after the holidays i move right onto my next project. it still makes me sad. so i try not to think about it.

i'm ultra-proud of this show. and ultra-proud that there are only a few tickets left for each performance. get yours HERE . and to my invisible family - i sincerely do hope i work with each of you again. soon.

"up in the air" takes flight

the barrage of film awards is starting to come in. the long, glitzy road to the oscars on march 7th. i'll be doing my annual top films list in early january, after i've had a chance to see everything in contention (many films open on christmas day). the always-early national board of review announced "up in the air" as their top film of the year. followed shortly thereafter by the washington, dc film critics that announced "up in the air" as their top film of the year. something tells me "up in the air" is the odds-on oscar favorite for many folks' top film of the year.

however, up next are the los angeles film critics and the new york film critics awards in the next few days. they both march more toward the beat of their own drummer and aren't exactly aligned with the oscars in terms of the films they bestow their top honors on. but their picks are certainly influential and are known to shake up the oscar race.

let's face it. artistic awards of any kind are subjective. just as my top ten list will be subjective. "up in the air" made it onto the new yorker magazine's top ten list. but time magazine listed it only as #5 in preferential order. and metacritic (a fun site i love that assigns numerical rankings to every critic everywhere's review of every film) lists "up in the air" as the 20th best reviewed film of the year ("the hurt locker", they say, is #1) i guarantee you, though, "up in the air" will be on my year-end list. and, yes, "the hurt locker". and... well, you'll know my picks in january.

the oscars only end up memorable because they occur last in the award season and are televised around the world and there's such a fascinating history attached to them. but so many great films and actors never won an oscar. and they're still great. and none of us are ever going to agree on the "best" of any year. it's just fun to play.

tiger is quitting golf "indefinitely"

i would say that mr. woods is quitting the one thing he's good at. however, it seems he's got a few hidden talents that none of us knew about until now...

glee fall finale

finally got around to watching - yes...wait for it.... - SECTIONALS! i just love "glee". has jane lynch cleared off a shelf yet for her best supporting actress emmy? and, yes (spoiler) they won sectionals. my favorite new tv show will return in the spring to work their way toward REGIONALS! let's see how many times per episode they can say that word. i really can't wait until it returns. if you've not been watching - hopefully they'll send it into reruns over the winter. and i can watch it all again.

me and orson welles

this is a movie for all the theatre geeks. "all's fair in love and theater". so goes the tagline. and it was never more true than when dealing with orson welles. he was (in theatre and film) at times a genius, at times a madman, mostly a success but at times a failure. and this historical/fictional look at the young welles foreshadows all those triumphs and less-than-triumphs to come. it's certainly an enjoyable film but is centered by a mesmerizing performance by christian mckay. he's brilliant. he simply IS a young welles. oscar, anyone?

a john waters christmas

"Pre-holiday activities are the foreplay of Christmas. Naturally, Christmas cards are your first duty and you must send one (with a personal, handwritten message) to every single person you ever met, no matter how briefly. If this common courtesy is not reciprocated, never speak to the person again. Keep computerized records of violators and hold the grudge forever; don't even attend their funeral." -- john waters

sophia

i, for one, cannot wait to see "nine". and sophia loren is one of the reasons. at 75 she is still workin' it! look at that snappy wig, drag queen makeup, spray on tan, and enormous chi chi's. girl has it goin' on!

it's the holiday season...

why isn't this playing at my local cineplex??!! hoardes of angry mothers couldn't keep it away!

come on honey, let's get outta here

looks like this best man's date to the wedding is himself. they're gonna have a good time after the reception.

shopped for your christmas cake yet?

this one's both appetizing AND festive! don't laugh, i've seen stuff like this at the piggly wiggly back in kentucky. i think this "artist" went to mortuary school instead of cake decorating class.

spot the sexy

which is the sexiest? that sparklin' tree? the snazzy christmas vest? her super-sized hair? or those scrumptuous cookies? i just can't decide.

another poem

whenever i see christina hendricks from "mad men", i can't help but chant: motorboat, motorboat go so slow / motorboat, motorboat go so fast / motorboat motorboat step on the gas!

a poem

not mine but very funny: "twas the night before christmas and all through the jersey shore / not a creature was stirring, not even a whore."

good morning, george

word today is that george snuffleupagus will replace diane sawyer as anchor of good morning america (as she moves on to world news tonight). they better hire a dozen new hair and makeup people because his hair alone will take at least an hour longer than diane's did. he's joined by robin roberts (love her!) and gay weather gay man sam gay champion and some other gal named juju. yes, juju.

fun? or just a little creepy?

i've never understood burger king's advertising. that creepy burger king guy who goes to people's bedrooms in the middle of the night to wake them up - what's that about? but now they have the ultimate wacko idea: the subservient chicken. visit him online and type in a command and he'll do it. works pretty well but i steered clear of asking him to do perverted stuff (i imagine he gets enough of those requests). it was fun for 30 seconds but then really began to creep me out. what wtf does it have to do with burger king anyway?

those GOP guys like it rough

rod jetton, a 42-year-old Republican missouri political consultant who formerly served as the speaker of the state's legislature, was charged with felony assault earlier this week for allegedly injuring a lady he was having S&M-style, non-Republican sex with.

reduce reuse recycle

seems there might have been some layoffs over at men's health magazine. namely all the writers! the current issue looks strikingly similar to the october 2007 issue. same stories, same headlines! they can't even try to make it look slightly different. i hear for their january issue the headlines will read: "new, exciting grapefruit diet" and "understanding reganomics" and "Y2K, how will it affect you?"

drop and give me 20

so sport & style is apparently some new australian magazine that "combines the true essence of both sports and style". their target audience seems to be gay men who want to join the military.

my insides just quivered a little

i can't help it - i'm psyched. i'll be first in line...